


Adult Conversation

by windire



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Birthday, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-22
Updated: 2016-04-22
Packaged: 2018-06-03 20:58:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6626059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/windire/pseuds/windire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Thirty years old," Aaron says slowly. </p>
<p>"Oi," Robert says. "No old man jokes."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Adult Conversation

**Author's Note:**

> First and foremost, a big thank you to everyone who welcomed me to the fandom. It meant a lot, guys. <3
> 
> Secondly, this is my contribution to Robert Sugden's 30th Birthday celebration. I meant to write and post this earlier, but then there was the slight issue of the boys refusing to shut up. 
> 
> Lastly, if you spot any spelling/grammar errors or other stupidities, please let me know so I can fix it.

They're sitting side by side on the sofa, watching something on TV that Robert lost interest in half an hour ago, the flashing casting changing shadows on their faces, the sound on low. Around them, it's dark and quiet in that way it rarely gets, with Liv upstairs in her room and Chas running the bar. It's just the two of them, and it's what Robert's wanted for so long, and it feels overwhelming and disappointing at the same time. 

Aaron's eyes are on the telly, his hands in his armpits and feet on the table, one on top of the other. He's inches away from Robert, but he might as well be in another galaxy. He's not closed off but he's quiet, has been all day. His silences are not a rare occurrence but Robert thinks there might be something on his mind today. Liv, probably. It's always Liv these days. 

Robert lifts his arm, rests it against the back of the couch; an invitation. Aaron doesn't even notice. 

It's like they're in a relationship now but Aaron is still playing hard to get, ignoring him half the time, putting other things and other people above him. And that's fine, it truly is; it's what Aaron meant when he said he wanted to take it slow. It's what Robert signed up for. He spent so long treating Aaron like dirt that he knows he still has a lot of work to do, a long way to go. It's all fine. Aaron has a lot going on right now, and Robert can choose to either stay in the background or sod off completely. He's made his choice. 

Besides, this game of hard-to-get has the added benefit of keeping Robert hungry for more, savouring the time they have together and the moments when he gets to be the sole focus of Aaron's attention. Also, there's sex now, and even if it's been just quick handjobs and hot, open-mouthed kisses, it's made a world of difference. The world is different because of it.

"Come here," Robert says, undeterred, when Aaron doesn't seem to be getting the hint. 

Aaron glances at him but doesn't say anything. Slowly, his posture loosens, hands falling to his lap, and he shifts so that he comes to lean against Robert's side. Robert wraps his arm around Aaron's shoulders and holds him there. Eventually, Aaron relaxes further, putting more of his weight against Robert, who can't resist the temptation to press a kiss against Aaron's head and breath in the scent of his hair. Can't resist it; doesn't need to. That's the lay of the land now. Robert's grateful. 

The show that's on is probably supposed to be funny, but neither of them is laughing. After a while, Robert thinks Aaron might be asleep, so he does his best not to move much even when his shoulder starts to go a bit numb. 

"It's your birthday today, isn't it?" Aaron says suddenly, his voice scratchy and quiet in the stillness around them. 

"Yeah," Robert says, because Aaron already knows the answer; Robert has been receiving happy birthday wishes, as well as some presents, all day. 

"Thirty years old," Aaron says slowly. 

"Oi," Robert says. "No old man jokes." 

"Wasn't going to," Aaron says, but Robert can hear the smile. 

Thirty years old is a milestone, Robert guesses, and it is a big deal, sure. But instead of feeling old, or trapped, or past his time, he feels oddly liberated. He's no longer a twenty-something or a young lad; there's no need to act like one. Whatever remnants of the pressure of youth he was still carrying around, he can let go of them now. He's an adult, tried and tested by the years gone by, and he's still here, and he has enough life experience to know what he wants. That's thirty. It's adult. He can stop pretending to want what everybody else wants. 

Being thirty is more a shift in status than anything else. It brings him the kind of credibility that he lacked before. Thirty means that even people much older than him will have trouble dismissing him out of hand, now. 

Robert likes it. 

Contrary to popular belief, Robert doesn't actually give a damn about what people think about him. What he is bothered about is how people _perceive_ him. His status. If people see him as a loser – a loose cannon, a troubled kid, a dumb farm boy – they'll give him a wide berth. If people see him as powerful, as a possible asset – a smart business man, a good-looking partner, a charming newcomer, _an adult_ – they're more likely to give him new opportunities, open doors for him, support him, help him.

Aaron shifts again, sitting up more, but he's still pressed warmly against Robert's side and Robert still can't see his face. "Does it feel different, being thirty?" Aaron asks.

"No," Robert says, because he can feel the shift if he thinks about it, but it hasn't changed a thing. Around Aaron, these days, he doesn't feel much anything except affection, anyway. 

"So just another birthday, then?"

"Yeah." 

On TV, there are two men dressed up as a horse and a woman wondering if she can ride it. Robert puts up with the show only because he's comfortable where he is, Aaron a warm weight against him, and changing the channel sounds like effort. It's debatable whether there's anything better on, anyway. 

His voice even quieter than before, Aaron asks, "Is that why you wanted to go to Barcelona this weekend?" 

Falling into an old habit, Robert considers his options, quick as lightning: He could say no to reassure Aaron, to put Aaron's mind at ease and help build the trust that is slowly budding between them again. He could say yes and take advantage of Aaron's guilt, use it to get Aaron to promise him long holidays in the sun in the future – or maybe just to promise him a blowjob tonight. 

In past relationships he would have made the decision quickly and, probably, whimsically. But this is Aaron. This is Aaron, and Robert is trying something new. 

"Part of it," Robert says truthfully and squeezes Aaron's shoulder in reassurance. 

Aaron pulls away and sits up straight, meeting Robert's eyes only briefly. "I'm," Aaron says quickly, "I'm sorry. I really am. It's just, everything keeps changing around me, and I haven't really got the chance to get used to any of this yet. I didn't realise it was – I mean, I didn't –"

"Aaron," Robert interrupts gently. "It's okay." 

Aaron doesn't seem to think so. He's staring at Robert's chin or the collar of his shirt. "You wanted to spend your birthday with me," he says, helpless, "and I had to stay here for Liv." 

"Hey," Robert says, making sure he uses his softest, most comforting tone of voice, because anything else might spook Aaron further into this hole of self-doubt, maybe even straight into self-loathing. Robert can't have that, not now. "I _am_ spending my birthday with you." 

When Aaron looks up, he looks wary but hopeful. Finally, he meets Robert's eyes and doesn't look away. 

Knowing that Aaron needs more reassurance, Robert says, "There will be other birthdays. Other holidays. I promise you." 

"I'm sorry," Aaron offers again, but it's less urgent now, just honest. 

"I know. It's okay." 

The show is over now, or maybe there's just a commercial break. Either way, there's someone talking about laundry detergent, chipper and annoying in the background. But Aaron is looking at him. It's like the world around them could end and Robert wouldn't care. 

_Boyfriend_ was a shift in status, too. It was something new entirely; something Robert's never been before. He's gone from _husband_ to _divorced_ and _gay_ , and whether or not gay is the right word for him, it is part of his status now; it's part of how people perceive him. 

Robert's entire world changed when he realised he cared about Aaron more than he cared about his status. The slow realisation that he wanted Aaron more than he wanted to be perceived as straight, more than he wanted to belong in the majority, changed everything. It was a slow process, but it happened, and it's the reality now.

He's never been worried about being seen as vicious when he's gone for what he wants. Now he's not afraid to be seen as gay, either, for doing the same thing.

Aaron is still looking at Robert, eyes big and earnest. "I didn't even get you anything," he says, his voice tight like he's genuinely, deeply upset about it. 

It's enough to startle a smile onto Robert's face. "I don't need any more presents," he says. He thinks about saying something cheesy about Aaron being all that he needs, but that might spook Aaron, too. They're taking it slow, and there will be time for cheesy later. Another thought enters Robert's mind and he cocks his head to one side. "Is this what you've been thinking about all day?" 

"No," Aaron says, but it's a kneejerk denial. He swallows and says, "Maybe. A little. A few times." 

Robert can feel his smile widening and he lets it happen, grins at Aaron, loves it. Loves every moment of this. "You forgot my birthday," Robert says, leaning in closer to brush invisible dust off the front of Aaron's shirt with his free hand, "heard about it this morning, and have been freaking out about a present all day." 

Aaron is quiet for a while before he says, gruff, "Still didn't get you anything." Embarrassment is written all over his face.

Robert takes pity on him. "Like I said, the trip is postponed, not cancelled. How about we celebrate my birthday then?" 

A little suspicious, Aaron considers this. Slowly, he nods. "Alright. If that's what you want. Sounds great." 

Grinning, Robert curls his fingers in the front of Aaron's shirt and uses it to pull him in for a kiss. Aaron kisses him back for much too short a time before breaking the kiss to say, "I'm still not getting you a present."

"Fine," Robert says, still grinning, feeling like he'd agree to anything right now just to keep the mood light. 

Aaron bites his lip, clearly hesitating. Eventually, he says, "Happy birthday." 

"Thank you." Robert grins at him, tugging at his shirt again, wanting another kiss. 

Resisting the tug, Aaron says, "It has been a happy birthday, hasn't it?" 

"Yeah," Robert says, because it's been a good enough day, but backtracks quickly. "I mean, you could make it happier." 

They're clearly on the same page, because Aaron narrows his eyes, but he looks suggestive rather than suspicious. "Could I, now?" 

"We could go up to your room, lock the door... In fact, I can even think of something you could give me." 

"Is that right?" Aaron says, but he's starting to smile, too. 

Robert cranes his neck, noses at Aaron's cheek, and whispers in his ear, "You could give me a blowjob."

He hadn't even thought about it, before, but now that it's on the table, Robert realises he wants it like burning. It's been _forever_ , fuck, it's been something like _a year_ since Aaron last did that. And Aaron is _great_ at it, enthusiastic and skilful, hot and playful. Just like that, Robert is hard. 

"That's what you want for your birthday," Aaron says when Robert pulls back a little. "A blowjob." His voice is so quiet Robert is mostly reading his lips. 

"Um, _yes_ ," Robert says, committed now. "From you. Only from you." 

It's obviously the right thing to say; the look in Aaron's eyes softens considerably, and if he was co-operative before, now he's eager. It's so easy to make Aaron happy; Robert had forgotten. 

Aaron gets to his feet, offers Robert his hand. "We better go lock that door, then. And you better be quiet." 

"And if I'm not?"

"Then it'll be the last blowjob you ever get from me under this roof, won't it?" 

"I'll be quiet," Robert promises, grinning as he lets Aaron pull him to his feet. "Now go on. Go!" 

They run up the stairs as quickly as quietly as they can. Robert looks around, suddenly terrified out of his mind that someone, Liv or Chas or Adam or Victoria, is going to show up and interrupt them and destroy everything. It's not until they're in Aaron's bedroom and Aaron's hands are locking the door that Robert feels like he can breathe again. 

Aaron is grinning, now, too, inexplicably happy, and Robert feels giddy with it. It's like sneaking around again, except it's better; there's no ugly fear of being found out, this time around, just the excitement of going at it where someone might see or interrupt. 

As soon as Aaron turns around, Robert pushes him against the door and kisses him, his fingers already touching the skin under Aaron's shirt. There are things Robert feels like saying – _I've missed this_ , or maybe _I love you _– but this is not the time or the place.__

__Right now, it's Robert's birthday, and it's just getting to the best, most enjoyable part. Aaron's hands are undressing him while they kiss; it's like the stars are no aligned and everything is, finally, momentarily, as it should be._ _

__Robert is going to enjoy every second of this._ _

**Author's Note:**

> I have a tumblr [here](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/windire19) though I don't post much of anything interesting. But feel free to come say hi!


End file.
